Lightning strikes twice on 'The Biggest Loser'

Why do Bob and Jillian freak out every time there's a double elimination on "The Biggest Loser"? They know this is a reality show, right?

With the black sheep Tracey out of the way, the remaining eight players gather round in supposed solidarity. But first! Alison Sweeney has some shocking news. Two people--that's right--two people are going home. The player with the lowest percentage of weight loss will fall below the dreaded Red Line, while the next two will fall below the Yellow Line.

*pause for dramatic sound effects*

This week's pop challenge is bull crap. Before it even starts, we all know Allen is going to win. Amanda and Liz sit out for medical reasons, so his competition is basically Rebecca. The players must jump up and grab some Velcro'd tennis balls and run them to a bucket. Pretty boring challenge, actually. Especially since we all presume Allen's got this in the bag. He wins... and Rebecca comes in second. That gives Allen a one-pound advantage for this week's weigh-in.

Afterward, everyone splits up to strategize. Apparently the dynamic of the game has shifted now that they're not Black vs. Blue anymore. It's now Young vs. Old. The young'uns: Daniel, Shay, Rebecca, and Amanda. The old folk: Liz, Danny, Rudy, and Allen. Needless to say, Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels aren't too thrilled with the news. Jill takes it upon herself to do whatever it takes to keep Shay at the ranch because she's not ready to go home. Bob doesn't like playing God with everyone's lives but goes along with Jill's machinations.

Can Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey's Circus still legally label themselves as being the greatest show on earth? Because I've seen the jousting show at Medieval Times. It's pretty awesome. Anyway, this week's challenge involves typical circus accessories like trampolines, hoops, and fat people. They each have to jump through the giant hoops of their opponents. One hundred points gets that person out, and the last person standing wins immunity. It's so on.

Once again, it's Young vs. Old. The kids attack Liz and Allen, while the geezers set their sights on Amanda and Daniel. It eventually comes down to Danny and Rudy teaming up against Shay. Shay, meanwhile, freaks the eff out because she thought Rudy had an alliance with her. Not so, he says. Then she and Danny take each other out and Rudy sails through with immunity. For some reason, this doesn't sit well with me. Even the confetti can't get me on board with this.

Everyone's going crazy in the gym this week. With the Red Line looming overhead like a storm cloud, the contestants have turned into gym rats. The young'uns even go as far as to sneak spin bikes into their bedrooms. Clever. But don't discount the old folk. Even though Liz's knee is screwed up and Danny needs a hip replaced, they seem to be putting in their fair share of hard work.

Time for the weigh-in. This is where all hell breaks looks. First of all, if it hadn't been for Allen's extra pound and Rudy's immunity, they would have been screwed. As for everyone else, the numbers were HUGE this week. Shay kicks off the weigh-in with a 17 pound loss, which set a new record for the 100 pounds lost by a female on the ranch. But get this-- she still falls below the yellow line! Liz gets 12 pounds, Rebecca gets 10, Danny gets 17. What is going on here?! Amanda only loses 5, so she's below the yellow line with Shay. It all comes down to Daniel, who only loses 5 pounds as well. Holy cow. That means Daniel is going home. Right now. Then it's time to vote between Amanda and Shay. Obviously, Shay is the bigger threat so she's sent home. That was probably the right call.

Once Daniel is home, he reconnects with his ex-teammate David. He's still morbidly obese and has no plans to lose weight anytime soon. After all, he's got better things to do. (Like what? Unless you're performing open-heart surgery on a group of orphans in a third world country, there's nothing better for you to do.) However, we don't get an update for Shay. What gives, NBC?! Is this a clever guise for me to watch "The Jay Leno Show," which has her as a guest tonight? Because it worked. I watched.